Its amazing how one summer can change everything. I literally feel reborn..as if all of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs have been altered. I used to believe that I needed someone to make me happy, I now realize that I can be happy and independant. I used to think my problems were so much bigger than they were, now I realize how petty and unimportant they are in the grand scheme of things. I used to be a little ignorant to how other’s thought, and now I have come to see things from multiple perspectives. I have learned to embrace everything and everyone that comes into my life whole heartedly because you never know when they may be gone. I have learned to let go and have fun and just not give a damn who is watching because I deserve to enjoy my life. Overall I learned that no matter how hard you try to be someone elses idea of perfect, you still are yourself in the end and you will always come back to the person you truly are.
2 grandparents bring the cutest little girls in to the rink for their sabres hockey game and realize they are an hour early. They call the dad, telling him he can make it here in time for the game on his way home from the airport. 20 minutes later dad walks in, hiding 2 stuffed animals behind his back. The little girls run into his arms and he gives them the gifts he got them while on his business trip (a cute little turtle and a teddy bear). The girls expressions were absolutely priceless. This made me smile today despite having to stay late and work 8 a.m.-7 p.m. :)
My leg is torn up from sliding into a base during softball today….i don’t even care that I got out…it was awesome. There will be pictures.
About to have some chocolate milk and chicken nuggets…I don’t care about the calories this time of night either…that’s just how satisfied I am with myself tonight.
Thoroughly enjoyed softball practice yesterday! Excited for these weekly practices to come! :)
Favorite quote of the week: “If she has to cheat on me that bad when i’m this good to her..I completely encourage it because he must be damn near amazing..I wish he was my friend too..”
Favorite song right now :Friends In Low Places
Cause I’ve got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I’ll be okay
I’m not big on social graces
Think I’ll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I’ve got friends in low places
Woke up and worked 8-3, then flew to oswego and taught privates from 3:30 to 5:20 and made 60 bucks, then drove home and showered and hauled absolute ass to make it to bdubs by 6 o clock.
Played softball tonight!!! :) So much fun. I am officially part of team “ballbusters”. I am a “ballbuster”….so great! Went to the Village Squire (bar and team sponser) afterwards for a drink and drank a pint of miller lite..and enjoyed it…for the first time in my LIFE!
Today was epic
No one can understand you but yourself. I always said I believed in second chances, but when it came to giving someone a second chance I ran away scared and said no. Some may think that was a smart decision, but after a short road of confusion and debate I would have to say I need to have more faith in people, and allow second chances.
I should have listened to my gut, and to everyone else when they knew better than myself that I wasn’t ready to move on. I did everything in my power to convince myself otherwise, kept myself busy, distracted, emotionally distant and moved away from the past as quick as I was able.
If I get hurt so be it, but atleast I won’t live a life always asking myself “what if”. Atleast I tried again.
Someone once told me that all sadness has an expiration date. Now more than ever I hope that expiration date isn’t longer than the period of time you can keep milk…but I somehow have my doubts.
I long for serenity.